claudstrophobic

You know that feeling where you feel like your heart literally drops to the bottom of your stomach?? And it stays there?? And you just feel like shit and you’re not sure why but it feels horrible and sad and depressing.

..yet at the same time it feels good?? That feel good/horrible sadness that you like/hate feeling??

I’m trying not to let myself sink back down into that point. I will not let myself. I refuse.

That’s what many, MANY people do not understand about depression. How it’s like.. someone who is depressed doesn’t want to NOT be depressed, does that make sense?? That no matter how much pain they’re in, they don’t want to get out of that state. It’s weird.

It’s something only you can understand if you have been depressed before, I suppose. And you can only get out of this state if you realize that you are wasting your life being sad. How you don’t even want to try to help yourself. You’re just stuck at the bottom of this huge hole and you don’t want to try to climb out. You’d rather someone stop and try to save you. Save you from yourself.

But that’s not how life works. Why do you expect someone else to save you?? Do you think you’ll truly be healed or rescued?? You can’t just sit around and expect someone to help you, especially if they have tried so many times before.

You say you’re broken. You want someone else to fix you?? If anything, get someone to watch you fix yourself. It’s easy to say that “oh no, I’m just messed up. Someone needs to help me.”

You don’t fucking understand!! You have to realize what you are doing. Can’t you see that people are trying to help you?? Except you’d rather have someone do ALL of the work for you. That is not how life works. That is not. how life. works. But you can only realize this yourself. You’ll keep saying no one understands that this is hard. I’m not saying it’s easy, HA. It’s anything but easy. But life isn’t easy.

Fix yourself. That is my only advice. The only way you’ll ever be truly whole. Depending your entire self on another person is setting yourself up for disaster. Trust is good, but do not put your life and happiness into someone else’s hands. Keep your life and happiness in your own hands.

~~nobody’s gonna read this but who cares. just need to put it out there~~

1 year ago |

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claudiadvice

yee doe

Anonymous sent: how can you be so happy?

because being sad is overrated and it fucking sucks. i’ve been through that stage and i’d rather not waste my time feeling bad when i have the potential to either make things better or just blow it off as something that i won’t remember in 10 years. i mean, when i’m 20, i’m not gonna be like, “hey, remember the time i was sad at school and at home for something that’s not that big of a deal??” and if there’s neither something to be happy about nor something to be sad about, be happy for no reason.

my face gets bored sometimes. so because my face gets bored, it decides to smile.

and until you can be happy for no reason, settle for being content and appreciative of the good things in your life and laugh at the dumbasses who think they are better than you.

1 year ago |

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claudiadvice

thoughts nigga

Anonymous sent: who do you hate at school???

I don’t really believe in truly hating anyone.. I feel like I can’t really judge them correctly until I become a mind reader of some sort. Also, no one’s really done anything to me that extreme to make me hate them so.. it’s more like I hate what people do, not the people themselves.. cuz I think most people are genuinely good it’s just that they’re being dumbasses.. yup. penis

1 year ago |

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NIGGA NO YOU ARE NOT FINE SHUT THE FUCK UP

Be real, now.

“The biggest lies are ‘I’m fine’ and ‘I’m just tired.’”

“No one understands me.”

BITCH. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.

NO ONE UNDERSTANDS YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE FUCKING LYING TO THEM AND SAYING THAT YOU’RE FINE.

DUDE. C’MON NOW.

If someone asks, “Hey, are you okay?” you should just say, “Ehh, I could be better” or “Not really” OR EVEN “I’m alright I guess.” If the person cares enough, they’ll ask you more about it and talk to you about it. If they get annoyed with you for telling them your problems even though they asked, well then fuck them because that is just plain idiotic on their part.

You don’t have to pretend. There are actually some people out here that aren’t douchebags.

1 year ago |

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claudiadvice

friends

amigooo

love

NIGGAGETONMYLEVEL

people these days.

Hi. It’s Valentine’s Day. YAY FOR LOVE. It’s weird how one day can make someone feel terribly alone.. but I’ll just push that aside.

For now, I do not really care whether or not I have a crush or boyfriend or whatever. I actually care more about friends, family, you know what I mean.

I don’t mind if you push me away.. jk I lied I MIND VERY MUCH and it makes me extremely angry, mr. friend sir!! If you’re pushing people away to make yourself feel better or to make sure you “don’t get hurt”, well then, fuck you because you’re hurting other people!! Aghh fuck, now you’re gonna be like “oh, see, all I do is hurt people. I don’t deserve - ” BLAH BLAH SHUT UP BITCH.

I care about you. I care about ALL of my friends, or anyone I interact with, really.

I hate all these posts that are like “don’t expect me to be waiting for you since you left” or some shit. Idk if it’s about your love, your friend, or whoever.

If my friend pushes me away I’ll just have to wait. And I’ll continue to wait and slowly help you come back to me because you’re my friend and I love you too much to just abandon you.

.. and I don’t care if I actually annoy the shit out of you. Because I’ll be your friend anyway. And you have to deal with it.

You’re not getting rid of me, amigo.

1 year ago |

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chicks

dudes

claudiadvice

Anonymous sent: wht do girls want in a guy??? :( i dont no anymore...

Okay. Honestly, girls have no idea what the FUCK they want. I apologize greatly for the troubles us girls have caused throughout history and our messed up modern society.

Some girls whine, “OHMAGA, I just want a nice guy who will love me for ever and ever and get me nice stuff and WAAAHH why are there no guys like that?? :( :(“

THOSE ARE FUCKING LIES. Bitches don’t want nice guys. They want sexy bad boys who aren’t afraid to make crude jokes yet have a semi-sweet side that the girl is enchanted with. The girl wants to change the bad boy, yet at the same time she doesn’t. I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK ok.

Even if a girl wants a “nice guy,” she wants a dude who is extremely attractive and funny. “Nice” just doesn’t cut it. It’s not even like that though, cuz girls will just put the dude in the friend zone. You know what??

FUCK THE FRIEND ZONE.

The friend zone does not exist in Claudia’s eyes. If I even have eyes. HHAHAHAHA RACIST JOKE anywho, the friend zone is just an excuse because people are too fucking picky or afraid to actually create a potentially awesome relationship.

DON’T LOSE HOPE MR. ANON!! Just because the world is full of crazy bitches doesn’t mean you have to try to please one!! You’ll find someone eventually. You have time.

There are so many people to fall in like with (:

1 year ago |

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advice

happy

sad

claudiadvice

Anonymous sent: What gives you your confidence? I don't get it. How do you stay so happy all the time? Don't you feel sad???

I mean.. ok, this is honestly going to sound really conceited and douchey, but I love myself. Honestly, I love everything about myself as of now, and I wouldn’t do anything to change myself. I like me. If there was a guy version of me, I would punch him in the face and then make out with him like crazy. I appreciate myself. No, I’m definitely not perfect, but I believe that I’m truly a good person. When I look in the mirror, I say in my head, “Damn. Look at that fuzzy little hair that is awkwardly sticking on top of my head.. Whatever, fuck it. It’s not like it’s going to be like that forever.” That basically is what I think about life: bad things won’t last forever. Jeez, life is more than the bad things. I live to be happy. I LOVE the feeling of happiness. Smiling, laughing, feeling that bubbly sensation in my stomach, and seeing my friends and family is what I relish, what I need. But that doesn’t mean that what makes me happy is always the right thing to do. That leads me to..

Rule #1: Keep an open mind. View other people’s perspectives. You can’t just expect someone, no matter how close they are to you, to read your mind. If you say, “Sorry, I need some space,” to a good friend, they will either: a) leave you alone b) ask why, hug you, and say they won’t ever leave you. You can’t expect them to say b). For God’s sake, you asked for your damn space. But that doesn’t mean anything, because if they chose b), that means they are truly devoted to you. HOWEVER, if they chose a), that means they respect you. They want you to be happy, and they just choose to respect your wishes, because that’s what you said, correct? NOT A SINGLE PERSON thinks the same way; therefore, you cannot expect them to understand you, leading me to..

Rule #2: Nobody understands you. This is true. Everyone has their own experiences and thought processes, so you don’t truly know what a person is thinking. This is perfectly ok. Of COURSE no one understands you: the point isn’t about understanding, it’s about them listening. You listen to their points and problems, they listen to yours. Simple as that. No need to cry and say that life is hard because no one can read your mind. Life isn’t a fairytale - life is better than that. Life is yours. You are your own worst enemy. You stand in the way of your own happiness, which leads me to..

Rule #3: It’s ok to be sad. But it’s not ok to mope about it excessively, especially if it’s over something trivial. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I definitely have my low points. I get over it. Sometimes, it’s good to feel sad. Let it out. Let those tears overflow like a clogged sink. However, I think to myself, “Claudia, get a hold of yourself. You have an awesome life with awesome friends with an awesome family and awesome stuff. People have it worse than you. Suck it up, push that sadness away and let that sunshine in like a hungry little daisy and bloom like a motherfucking sunflower.” If my friends don’t invite me to hang out on a few occasions, sure I feel left out. It’s only natural. But I know they love me. I don’t care if I sound like a bitch, it’s true. Every single person is loved by something, someone, or anything, really. Strangers love one another. Is that normal? No. But what the fuck is normal? Humans create their own standards. I have my own fucking standards. Other people have to deal with it. I look back on my grammar school self, and I know that I was not a good person, haha. I was severely depressed in 7th grade, but I look back now and say to myself, “Woah, I was a fucking retarded BITCH. Time to make up for that.” That’s why I’m so happy with myself now. I know I’m a better person, and I’m proud of that.

3 P’s: Perspective, Personality, Persevere.